Joel’s Gift to Ethan – Motherhood After Loss
by Chrissy Storr
My six-month-old son was squirming restlessly so I scooped him up off the bed. His blue gray eyes looked curiously around the room and came to rest on a photo hanging on the wall. It was of a baby, with his little hand grasping my finger. He had never noticed it before so he stared at it. “That’s Joel,” I told him. Ethan turned and gazed at me. I felt the need to explain further. “That’s, well, that’s your older brother. He was my world, just like you are. I loved him when you weren’t even thought of. Actually, had he lived we probably wouldn’t even be having this conversation – because honestly you probably wouldn’t be here.” He glanced at the photo once more and then went back to his normal little activities, which included grabbing at everything in sight while speaking baby gibberish.
Reuniting in the Baby Loss Community
by Julie Erickson
Recently, I have noticed a concerning trend in the baby loss community, one that I know is going to ruffle some feathers just by its mention. It seems that moms who were once united in their suffering are now beginning to divide themselves into smaller factions, stating that people “don’t understand” their loss, or that it “isn’t the same” as someone else’s. Continue reading
Through the Dark Valley
by Julie Erickson
When I first learned of Jordyn’s fatal diagnosis in November of last year, the perfectionist and workaholic in me took over almost immediately. Though I was heartbroken that Jordyn would not be with us to grow up, I imagined the good that could come of her short time on earth. I pictured building a legacy in her name which included a charity for fetal heart research, a blog to tell her story, and many speaking, fund raising, and mentoring efforts to support those who were hurting in the same way I was. Though I could not save her life, through whatever power I had I needed her memory to be preserved.
A Grieving Mother’s Wish List
by Sarah Grandfield-Connors