And Then Comes Father’s Day

And Then Comes Father’s Day

by Jason Kimble

46ba1-2320b-wSo, here comes Father’s Day.  When we first lost Hannah, I didn’t really think this sort of thing would be an issue for me.  Father’s Day seems to be one of those holidays that doesn’t get nearly as much air time as Mother’s Day, so in my mind Mother’s Day had a better chance of being tough.  Now of course the holiday is approaching and it’s a lot different then I anticipated.  I realize now that I have the pain of losing my daughter and that I am a Father with out a child, I notice all the commercials and all the cards and all the ads in the stores that say “Father’s day is coming, do something special for Dad.”  At first I let it roll off.  I just ignored the fact that it was coming.  But I realized that they keep hammering it and hammering it.  And here I am and what am I supposed to do?  I don’t get to have that first Father’s Day moments with my daughter.  That was stolen from me. 

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When Enough is Too Much – Victoria’s Story

When Enough is Too Much – Victoria’s Story

by Victoria Salerno

f4f90-imageThere is so much that happens in your life after a loss, things you never even *think* about. I promised Heather and all of you when I joined that I would be 100% honest and share everything, good and bad, easy and difficult.

The last two days have been d.i.f.f.i.c.u.l.t. Both days ended in tears and little sleep after hard conversations with my husband. If you had asked me five years ago if I would ever have to discuss the possibility of us not having our own children, I probably would have looked at you as though you had five heads.

Not have our own children?…..

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Why Am I So Angry? – Day 12

Ephesians 4:31

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger.

1. How have you recently expressed healthy, righteous anger over your loss? Unhealthy anger?

About a month ago my husband and I were both angry over our loss. We got into and argument about something else and it got very emotional. We gave each other space. We each separately just cried out to God, screamed, and just broke down. Our anger didn’t have to do with that argument, but it had everything to do with the loss of Hannah.

I hate the feeling of being angry so I try to just push it to the side. I’m not sure where is goes, but I know I can’t keep it there and let it build up. The anger will come out eventually there’s no question about that. I can’t allow it build up and get worse and worse.

2. What do you feel is behind your anger? Disappointment? Envy? Expectations? Guilt? Physical exhaustion? Fear? Rejection?

All of the above. Just at different times since Hannah was given and fatal diagnosis.

3. Tell God how you feel. Write a letter to Him and share your heart.

Dear God,

I’m not angry directly at you, but I am angry this had to happen. I’m angry my little girl died. I’m angry she wasn’t healed. I’m angry that she was stillborn. I’m angry that since she never took a breath the federal government doesn’t recognize her.

I am also thankful for your love and guidance. I’m thankful you allowed Hannah’s life to touch so many people. I’m thankful that she will receive a birth certificate and be recognized by the state. I’m thankful for the connections and new friends I have made through the loss of Hannah. I am thankful that I can share my story and be a voice for those who cannot speak yet. I’m thankful that Hannah’s life with help countless people through this blog/website and nonprofit.

I know you will not let Hannah be forgotten. I know that you are showing her a love greater than I can even imagine on this earth. I know she is safe in your arms. I know you will use her death to touch and help others who are on this journey of loss or who will be on it in the future.

We want You to be glorified through our personal journey of loss. We want people to know that You didn’t cause their baby to pass away, that there is just sin and evil in this world. We want people to know the love You have for them.

Thank You for always being there and accepting me even at my darkest times. I love You God.

Love Always,