So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my right hand.
1. Is your past holding you captive from your future? If so, how?
I don’t think so. I am continually taking steps forward. That’s the only way to go. I struggle a lot and there are times I don’t want to take anymore steps. This isn’t easy and I refuse to leave Hannah in the past. She is apart of my past, present, and future.
2. God wants to strengthen you and help you. In what ways can you allow Him to hold your hand? In what ways can you allow others to hold your hand?
I have made the conscious decision the day Hannah was given a fatal diagnosis that I would not be angry at God. I knew I needed Him more than ever and I turned to Him. He is walking with me through this journey God understands my pain, fears, and anger.
I hate asking for help but I’m only human and I know I can’t do this on my own. I have let people in. I allow people to follow me on this journey as I walk through it. Their prayers are powerful. People are holding my hand tightly every time they say a prayer for us, think of us, ask how we are, send a message, talk about Hannah, spend time with me, and talk to me.
Seeking: to search for; request, aim, or try
Sorrow looks back,
Worry looks around,
Faith looks up.
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
Seek God in your darkness and He will be your light.
Seek God in your questions and He will be your answer.
Seek God in your anger and He will be your peace.
Seek God in your sorrow and He will be your comforter.
Seek God in your uncertainty and He will be your confidence.
Seek God in your sin and He will be your redeemer.
Seek God in your forgiveness and He will be your salvation.
Seek God in your salvation and He will be your eternity.
For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord.
1. Look at the cover of this book. What do you see in the clouds?
I see a baby’s handprint. It’s not perfect by it reminds me of Hannah’s hands and handprints.
2. Jesus is the One who transforms lives. In what area(s) of your life physically, psychologically, socially, or spiritually has He transformed you the most through your loss.
I think I have transformed the most socially and spiritually.
3. In what area do you still need to seek His hope?
Psychologically. I hurt so much. I just want Hannah back. Her due date is fast approaching and it hurts more and more everyday. I dread her due date and I dread every single day after that.
4. What plans do you sense God may have for you in the future?
To help others who are on the journey of baby loss. To let them know they are not alone. To let them know that aren’t crazy. To let them know they are entitled to feel their emotions. To let them know they don’t need to be ashamed of grieving their baby.
I also sense more children are in our future. I’m not sure if they will be biological children, adopted children or both. But no matter what they will be our children.
5. Read the verse at the beginning of this devotional and insert your name.
Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
1. Read 2 Corinthians 1:3-4; Galatians 6:2; Ephesians 4:32; 1 Thessalonians 4:18.
2. How does God want you to respond to others who are grieving?
God wants me to respond with compassion, love, and understanding. My heart breaks for all the moms that loss their babies. I empathize with them. I want to help them any way I can.
3. Who has lost a child and would appreciate your encouragement? How will you do this?
Victoria and I have encouraged each other in this journey of baby loss. We sent a card with a note to each other, talked about our losses, purchased clothes for our babies together, and have just enjoyed each others company.
I am also a member of several private support groups. in a safe place where we can all share our hearts, vent, cry, be angry, etc. with no judgment and with other women who understand. It’s great to have these as a resource, but sad that there are new women joining all the time. I simply let them know that I am praying for them and sending them lots love.
Due dates, birthdays, anniversaries, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day can be painful days for those who have lost a child. Consider ways you can show comfort to others on those occasions.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruits in season.
1. If you don’t have any friends for this season of grief, ask God to connect you to someone.
Be willing to reach out first and befriend someone who has also experienced the loss of their baby(s). Don’t be afraid to take that first step. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
2. Who are the friends who understand your personal experience and grief and are with you in the journey? Which friends:
- Give you a new perspective?
- Help you grow and mature?
- Support you through change?
- Encourage you to “shut down” and be still?
God has given me two women who I call my friends. I know that no matter where I am in my journey or in life I can talk to them. They truly understand me and can empathize with me. They have both have experienced the loss of their babies. One friend lost her first daughter and she was born still a few years ago. My other friend (Victoria) lost her four babies through miscarriage. Her most recent loss was in January.
3. To whom can you be a friend through her season of grieving? Ask God to show you someone you can invest in for a season.
God brought Victoria in my life to be a friend to. He also knew I needed her friendship as well. I pray God will show me other women who need a friend through this journey of loss.
4. God is a friend for all seasons. How do you most need Him to help you this week? To give you new perspective? To help you grow and mature? To support you through change? To encourage you to “shut down” and be still?
I need God to be my comforter and my strength. I need Him to use my experience to help other women that are alone or feel alone through their journey of baby loss. I need Him to continue to show me that it’s ok to be still sometimes and just know that He is God. I know God will never leave me nor forsake me. He is a constant and a forever friend no matter what season I am in my life.