Reuniting in the Baby Loss Community

Reuniting in the Baby Loss Community

by Julie Erickson

young-friends-1245942 (1)Recently, I have noticed a concerning trend in the baby loss community, one that I know is going to ruffle some feathers just by its mention.  It seems that moms who were once united in their suffering are now beginning to divide themselves into smaller factions, stating that people “don’t understand” their loss, or that it “isn’t the same” as someone else’s. Continue reading

Welcome to Paradise

Welcome to Paradise

by Sarah Grandfield-Connors

Hannah's Heart and love, babyloss, baby loss, pregnancy loss, stillbirth, miscarriage, 1There is a short essay called “Welcome to Holland” which is meant to comfort a parent who has recently received information that their child has some type of developmental disability. The premise is that you have booked a trip to Italy, but your plane was re-routed to Holland. You miss the idea of Italy, the culture of Italy may always be a mystery with its own language and art — but Holland is stunning itself. Beautiful but different.

When we first understood that things with Beatrix may not go well someone sent me this essay. It was welcome as an affirmation of the life I was embarking on — the life I assumed included a child with Down Syndrome — because whenever there’s a problem in pregnancy, that’s the “worst” that could happen, right?

 (Disclaimer here — I was excited about the possibility… there was a not so tiny part of me that was thrilled that I would be given the opportunity to mother a baby with exceptional chromosomes. I do not see a baby with Down Syndrome as a negative. It’s just the first thing that people imagine when they learn that their baby is going to be atypical.)

Continue reading

This New Life

This New Life

by Ashley Bowman

new-life-3-1249701-639x480February 1st marked six months since I said hello then goodbye to my angel, Bentley. 6 MONTHS. It seems like such a short amount of time when you think about the length of a whole human life, but it’s an excruciatingly long time when you are missing someone every second, of every day.  I have come to find that grief and that incredibly painful ache I feel every day living without my son only gets worse with time. Probably because every day is one day longer that it has been since I kissed him and held him. I already feel like he is quickly disappearing from our lives. Other than pictures and a few mementos, there is no sign that he was ever here. It kills me to know that I will never have anything more of him than I do now. I will never get take his picture as I  see him off on his first day of kindergarten or see his first steps. None of that, it has all been taken from us for reasons we will never know or understand. Everything happens for a reason has no part in baby loss.

Continue reading

This Wasn’t My Dream

This Wasn’t My Dream

by Chrissy Storr

9278a-chrissy2bstorr2b-2bjoelThis wasn’t the dream I had for myself; parenting a baby for a couple days and then being a parent from afar when he ended up passing away. My dream had been very different. From a young age, I had wanted to be a mother, have a family that gathered together for the holidays, and shared memories. I imagined myself with little children who I would teach and raise to be productive, successful members of society. We would laugh, love, and create a family legacy. I believed that you got pregnant, had a beautiful baby, and brought it home.

Continue reading