Joel’s Gift to Ethan – Motherhood After Loss *trigger-living baby*

Joel’s Gift to Ethan – Motherhood After Loss

*Trigger-Living Baby*

by Chrissy Storr

new-life-3-1249701-639x480My six-month-old son was squirming restlessly so I scooped him up off the bed. His blue gray eyes looked curiously around the room and came to rest on a photo hanging on the wall. It was of a baby, with his little hand grasping my finger. He had never noticed it before so he stared at it. “That’s Joel,” I told him. Ethan turned and gazed at me. I felt the need to explain further. “That’s, well, that’s your older brother. He was my world, just like you are. I loved him when you weren’t even thought of. Actually, had he lived we probably wouldn’t even be having this conversation – because honestly you probably wouldn’t be here.” He glanced at the photo once more and then went back to his normal little activities, which included grabbing at everything in sight while speaking baby gibberish.

Continue reading

This Wasn’t My Dream

This Wasn’t My Dream

by Chrissy Storr

9278a-chrissy2bstorr2b-2bjoelThis wasn’t the dream I had for myself; parenting a baby for a couple days and then being a parent from afar when he ended up passing away. My dream had been very different. From a young age, I had wanted to be a mother, have a family that gathered together for the holidays, and shared memories. I imagined myself with little children who I would teach and raise to be productive, successful members of society. We would laugh, love, and create a family legacy. I believed that you got pregnant, had a beautiful baby, and brought it home.

Continue reading